A Few Random Questions

Here are some ordinary, every day questions on varied topics....

• Why don't people generally say they are sorry if they've made a mistake? Are they busy and forgot, or are they afraid it is a sign of weakness?
  

• When people have good cell phone reception, how much better are their relationships than if they have poor reception, especially if they are not conscious of the importance of the quality of the phone lines?  

• Why are Afghans angry if their teenagers want to play together?

• Why does American society, as a whole, play dead to bigger crimes and make innocents pay the costs of justice - which may or may not happen?

• Why is the head of the Tea Party holding up the two sides of the debt debate from making a settlement if, as she said on CNN, she is neither Republican nor Democrat, or even elected? 

•  Why did Michele Bachmann say she will try to impeach the President when any agreement on the debt debate is a joint decision made by many people from both parties?

 

• Why can the 'buying pool' of my 'house for sale' in America only afford to rent not buy, time after time???

I don't think they have short answers.

What is Mental Illness?

Sometimes I worry about social values around the world, and how societies  and their citizens sometimes refuse to admit to the reality of mental illness.

The young man in Norway killed over seventy people, is estranged from his family, and is not, at least according to some news accounts, believed to be mentally ill.

Casey Anthony who danced for a month after her newborn completely disappeared was not accepted by a jury as a mentally ill killer.

If violent acts are not done by the mentally ill, then exactly who in this world fits the label "mentally ill"?

Here's a new story of an educated young Bangladeshi woman blinded, bitten, and mauled almost to death by her husband, and yet her husband is publicly allowed to turn the blame on her.

"With the community breaking its typical silence, a more nuanced universal story is emerging of a young wife struggling privately in a difficult marriage with a man who may have been suffering himself from a mental illness, family members say."

His family finally admits he "may have been" suffering from a mental illness, as if he may also not have been? Excuse me, but exactly who validates, defines and gives mental illness start and end dates? Who decides who is and who is not mentally ill?

If violent acts are not necessarily carried out by the mentally ill, then who perfectly fits the label "mentally ill"? Sounds like a world desperately uncertain of the definitions of mental illness.

We should be skeptical of a so-called division between violent acts and mental illness.  We should recognize the symptoms of mental illness: inability to cope, detachment from reality, excessive anger, withdrawal from friends and activities, and  possibly delusions, in extreme cases. To me, it's  a sign of healthy common sense to believe they must be linked. Isn't that why children can legally be protected from parents, wives from husbands returning from war duty or aggressive sports games?

Here are necessary humanitarian social values as promoted by the United Nations, and the International Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies: 

gender-equality

non-violence

non-discrimination

impartiality

voluntary service

unity

universality

neutrality

education

maternal and child health

disease and poverty eradication

environmental sustainability 

and mine,

kindness

love

courage

compassion, and friendship

These are a few of the social values that win against mental illness, ignorance and anger.

                                                                    

elements: Princeton, New Jersey

The Privateer

• 1 1/2 oz  Batavia Arrack,
• 3/4 oz  Smith and Cross,
• 1 oz  Velvet Falernum,
• 1/2 oz  Dubonnet rouge, 
• 3/4 oz  fresh lime juice,
• 3  healthy dashes of Angostura bitters.

Shake well  and strain onto fresh ice.  Garnish with  freshly grated nutmeg over the top.                                                                            Photo and recipe courtesy  elements barblog.Mattias Hägglund

Restaurant Review

elements

163 Bayard Lane (Route 206 at Leigh Avenue)

Princeton, New Jersey 08540

609.924.0078 

The drink pictured above was the hook that enticed me into a restaurant in Princeton, a venue I know has been super-busy since it opened. An NPR food show on the radio made me curious: the food experts rated this drink higher than any other found in the Philadelphia area -- high praise, indeed!

Chef and owner Scott Anderson

Chef and owner  Scott Anderson  has also recently won numerous local awards for inventive cooking, and is heading to New Orleans to compete as well. His awards are well deserved if our recent visit is any indication of the norm of the restaurant as a whole. 

elements has a special area for diners interested in ordering a very long tasting menu. The style of the main room is sophisticated and modern. A smaller room upstairs for overflow and meetings hides a giant hidden computer monitor which we got to see on our guided tour at the end of the evening. This tour astounded me since they didn't know I like to write restaurant reviews; they saw me looking into the kitchen and invited me inside the door. Surprisingly warm for an expensive restaurant, non? It's a  very large kitchen; fish and meat prep areas are separate. A well-cooled storage area upstairs holds an awe-inspiring array of wines. Shiny caramel wood ceilings and walls enrich the atmosphere, and impressive windows angle rays of golden sunlight.

elements is a restaurant with an attitude aspiring to old-fashioned excellence in a modern, international package. They want you to enjoy the meal, or else they take the consequences and make it better. 

Interior of elements Princeton, New Jersey

We were offered three choices of waters when we first sat down. After ordering,  a gift of three precious appetizers  arrived on a platter, tastings of fish ceviche and so on, all described in detail by our server. The menu offered a variety of seafood and meats.  My dish seemed to have everything -- including curds and whey! Presentation was careful and decorative in china of varied shapes.

Frequent service proved proud, friendly and caring. I can't  praise the quality  highly enough. And sure enough, off went the crumbs!

Our main course offered a melange of tastes emanating from fresh ingredients and spices. The vegetables were taken fresh from "Frank Muth's" farm to create the "farm to fork" service the restaurant prizes.  

 

elements Restaurant, Princeton, New Jersey

For a better than Manhattan meal in Princeton, elements is the place, especially now  Princeton's favorite old European restaurant Lahiere's is closed. Similar in ambience to Salt Creek Grille, elements has more unique, upscale food and service. The tasting menu with around fifteen dishes in the small dining room sounds overwhelming, but many seem to like it. It also looks like Cut in Beverly Hills.

In conclusion, I would call elements excellent from varied points of view: atmosphere (ambience), service, and food -- taste, quality, and presentation.

A cellphone here (if I dare say so) would be an unwanted interruption to the sybaritic and hedonistic enjoyment of food-tasting at elements. Call them anyway (609.924.0078) or stop by. Best try weekdays, when at least there's a chance of a table. Free parking on site.

Cathedral Dean Lloyd: Sad Day at Washington's National Cathedral

Cathedral Dean Samuel T. Lloyd III announced on July 8, 2011 he plans to leave Washington's National Cathedral to return to Trinity Church, Copley Square in Boston, as their priest-in-charge.

He has written a letter to explain the reasons, although they all appear as reasons to stay at the Cathedral.

Under his stewardship, the Cathedral has instituted online records of services of worship for a few years now, which I have enjoyed following most Sundays, holidays, and special services from here in New Jersey. He has shown unparalleled leadership at bringing together disparate groups of the country and the world, and creating new programs within the Cathedral. While others may say Cathedral Deans "come and go" no other  will match his uniquely gentle personal style of truthfulness, humility and magnificence.

To say I am surprised and disappointed is an understatement. I am shocked (since I imagined the  Cathedral is a summit position within the religious community) and will greatly miss his leadership. I am sure the congregation will miss his  rare style of authority profoundly as well.

I will have to check whether his new appointment will offer live online services. If it is, I'll watch there.

Juries Should Use Common Sense

When a news story is interesting and over-reported, such as the recent Casey Anthony child murder trial, I tend to hold my comments.  That case has taken ages to play out, and the weight given to ego and trivia made it extremely painful to follow. I can feel sympathy for the jury.

Now the trial is over, and Marcia Clark, the chief prosecutor in the OJ Simpson case, has written an extremely persuasive article in The Daily Beast/Newsweek, illuminating how the jury went wrong with its final decision. She explains how a mother who "probably" killed her baby and didn't report it for a month is getting away with it.

The reason seems to be a failure of a jury to think for themselves or to feel for the baby.

Sometimes, "Group Think" as she calls it, works well - to fix cars, computers, machines and complicated problems. The reason: when one person doesn't "get it" or can't fix it, another person might...Everyone brings different strengths to a challenge.

In the case of the prolonged, sequestered jury trial of Casey Anthony, the jurors got too cozy with one another, and with the defendant. They agreed together and thought they didn't NEED to connect the dots. They couldn't convict Casey or so "they thought" and they didn't. An emotional decision, it's sad that rationality and independent thinking hadn't prevailed and weighed the preponderance of evidence.

The facts didn't successfully force common sense on the jurors since they were too close for too long, according to this article.

The court of public opinion sees the failure of the justice system in this case, and when the general public sees something wrong, they're usually right. That little group of jurors failed to do justice. They didn't do their job of connecting "the dots" as they should have, according to Marcia Clark...It looks like someone has got away with murder.

Read my post about the visit to the South Pole by the first successful American explorer in nearly one hundred years to see how sometimes one person, against all odds, can succeed where many groups before him have failed. It's an inspirational story of a real leader.

Proust's Questionnaire: A Party Game

Marcel Proust, novelist, 1871 - 1922, believed that to understand others, we must understand ourselves. Over time, we change in many ways, physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Proust wrote a questionnaire we can each use for ourselves, and with others. If writing a novel, this questionnaire is useful to ask about characters.

Here are the questions---

What is your current state of mind?                                                  What do you most fear?

What do you most dislike about your appearance?                   What is your favorite occupation?

What do you consider the most over-rated virtue?                    Which living person do you most admire?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?                           Who is your favorite fictional hero?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?     What is your most favored possession?

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?       Who are your real heroes?

What do you consider your greatest achievement?                    When and where were you happiest?

What is the quality you most admire in a man?                            What is your idea of perfect happiness?

What is the quality you most admire in a woman?                      What is your most obvious characteristic?

What do you value most in your friends?                                          What is the trait you most dislike in yourself?

If you were to die and come back as a person or animal  what do you think it would be?      

If you could choose an object to come back as, what would you choose?            
What is the trait you most dislike in others?                                      Where else would you like to live?
What historical figure do you most identify with?                         What is your greatest extravagance?

Who has been the greatest influence on you?                                   What is your favorite journey?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?                      On what occasion do you lie?

Which natural talent would you like to have as a gift?                What is it you most dislike?

For which fault do you have the most toleration?                          Where would you like to die?

Which military event do you admire most?                                       What is your favorite bird?

If you could have been anyone in history, who would it have been?                   What is your motto?

What are your favorite names?                                                                Who is your favorite hero in a novel?

 What is your favorite food and drink?                                                  Who is your favorite heroine in a novel?

What is your favorite color?                                                                       Who is your favorite composer?

What is your favorite flower?                                                                    Who is your favorite painter?

Who is your favorite poet?                                                                          Who is your favorite author?

If they make you smile,you can answer questions like these interactively at this Vanity Fair site, and find out who you resemble from your answers.

At this site, your answers will be preserved at the New Library of Alexandria.

Of course, they make terrific questions to answer at your leisure, and share with a friend, or ask at a party, if you dare. If nothing else, these probing, personal questions will make you think privately about the lives we live and have lived in the past, and the hopes we have for the future.